ALL Bodies Are GOOD Bodies

This morning as I finished working with a group of 3rd graders, one of the girls hung back while I cleaned off the table.

“Ms. Howard, can I talk to you?”

“Always! What’s up?” I said.

“One of the boys called me fat, and it really hurt my feelings.” She went on to tell me she knows her body is different than other girls, and she has to wear different clothes sometimes.

My heart sank. Everything in me wanted to say, “I’m so sorry he said that. You are not fat. Don’t listen to him.”

But instead, I asked myself what I needed someone to say to me when I was in 3rd grade (or 1st grade, really) when other kids called me fat.

I told her, “I’m so sorry he said that. That must have really hurt. Can I tell you the truth, though? The truth is, your body is a good body. Your body is exactly as it’s supposed to be. You’re growing and changing, and it’s really awesome that your body is able to do that, don’t you think? Other people may have opinions about your body or someone else’s body, but the most important thing you can remember is that all bodies are good bodies.”

She smiled.

I told her again, “Your body is good. Your body is exactly how it’s supposed to be. Nothing anyone else may say will ever change that. Your body is good.”

I think the best thing to do in these situations is to resist the urge to rush into, “No, you’re not fat!” This confirms the idea that fat is inherently bad. Fat can be a descriptor rather than an insult.

Instead, affirm their bodies. Remind them that ALL bodies are GOOD bodies, and there is no wrong way to have a body.

It’s hard. To have an 8-year-old who feels insecure about her body because our societal standards are already affecting her…that’s not fair.

I know…I was that 8-year-old. The first time I remember being called fat, I was 5 years old. I began throwing food away from my lunch at 5 years old, because of what other kids said to me. And the bullying never stopped. I needed someone to tell me what I told this sweet kiddo today. ALL bodies are GOOD bodies.

It starts young. It’s pervasive. But we can help.

And one way we can help is by being conscious of our language, and using body-affirming language.

All bodies are good bodies, and our kids need to know that.