My New Year’s Revolution

I just started reading a book that’s been sitting on my shelf for at least a year. And by “started reading” I mean I read the first page of the forward and had to stop and take notes. The book is The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor.

I’m sure the book is great. I mean, when I was in eating disorder treatment, they referred to this book all the freaking time. I’m sure it’s good, and I’m excited to read it.

But the first page of the forward. Y’all. WOW.

Here’s what I got out of those few paragraphs, and what I’ve applied to my life thus far:

I’ve spent the better part of 34 years fighting myself. Fighting my body. Fighting my own existence.

But I’ve recently begun to wrap my head around the idea that perhaps life doesn’t have to be like this. Maybe I don’t have to live like this. Maybe I don’t have to spend the rest of my life fighting myself. I don’t want to spend my entire life fighting my own existence, and then just die.

That’s not how I want to live.

I sometimes get frustrated with myself for not “getting it”…for still struggling with body image issues and insecurity, or when anorexia rears her ugly head. But I breathed a sigh of relief when I read the line in the book that said, “There are no epiphanies that outweigh a lifetime of conditioning.”

Whew!

I don’t have to get it right today. I think maybe wanting it is enough. Maybe realizing I don’t want to fight myself anymore is enough for today. The rest will come. In time, the rest will come.

But I think as the rest comes, in time, we can help guide it as it does. In fact, I think it’s our responsibility to do so.

And that’s where my New Year’s Revolution comes in.

See, I think I’m sick of New Year’s Resolutions. They often fail, likely because they are lacking in one of the following categories: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, or time-bound. In fact, I gave up on New Year’s Resolutions years ago. I decided I would set normal goals all year long. And I do. I set goals when I want to, not when the calendar or society says I should. And WOW, that has taken so much pressure OFF.

But this year, I’m doing something different in the new year. Not quite a New Year’s Resolution, exactly…but a New Year’s REVOLUTION.

First of all, what IS a revolution?

Google says a revolution is a successful attempt by a large group of people to change the political system of their country by force. 

Dictionary.com says it is an overthrow or repudiation and the thorough replacement of an established government or political system by the people governed.

Dictionary.com also says it is a radical and pervasive change in society and the social structure, especially one made suddenly and often accompanied by violence.

Sounds intense, I know.

And it is.

Intensely kind. Intensely compassionate.

There’s only one rule in this revolution: You have to take The Vow.

And you must abide by The Vow AT ALL TIMES. You must never deviate.

Again, I know it sounds intense.

This time, it’s less intense.

You’re probably wondering about this Vow…

Here it is:

I vow to try. Not to be perfect, not to have it all together, not to do it all right, not to get it right 100% of the time. But to try. To give it my best shot. And to let my best be good enough.

I vow to be kind to myself through the process. To let compassion reign. To be considerate to myself, because I am doing a really difficult thing.

I vow to give myself a break when I need it. To give myself room to grow. To let myself feel the growing pains, but also to show myself kindness in that space.

I vow to show myself compassion as I grow into the new version of myself that I’ve yet to meet. To lean into the spaces that feel scary or uncertain, as the unknown becomes the common and the unsure becomes the loved.

I vow to try. Not to be perfect, not to have it all together, not to do it all right, not to get it right 100% of the time. But to try. To give it my best shot. And to let my best be good enough.

—

That’s it. That’s the Vow.

I want to give you the space and the permission (not that you need my permission) to make this a personal Revolution for yourself.

A Revolution of kindness and self-compassion and self-love. (Which is NOT selfish. We’ll get into that later.)

But I also want to invite you to come along on this journey with me. To do this together. To rise up out of the self-hatred, self-condemnation, self-criticism and learn to show ourselves some kindness and compassion and consideration.

It’s going to start with a book club in January, and we’ll see how it goes. We’re going to read Sonya Renee Taylor’s book, The Body Is Not An Apology.

If you want in on the book club, leave a comment below, and I’ll get you on my list.

If you’re starting your own personal Revolution, let me know that in the comments, too!