A Magnet Cured My Treatment-Resistant Depression

A year ago today, I published a post entitled Inside The Chronically Depressed Mind. I talked about coming to terms with a new diagnosis of treatment-resistant depression, and how hopeless I felt. I wrote, “Depression is hard. Treatment-resistant depression is a new level of hard, because it has a built-in hope vacuum, sucking out all the hope.”

Fast forward one year.

I just sent this email to someone, and I was in tears by the time I finished typing it:

I was just thinking I needed to reach out and tell you how GOOD I feel! It is crazy. I can’t believe how much happier I am and how much better my mood is. I am so grateful for TMS and everything you guys did for me. It has dramatically changed my life. I feel like me again for the first time in a long, long time. I’m doing things I enjoy again, I’m spending time with friends and family, and I’m getting my life back. 

One year.

And what a year it’s been.

In that year, I’ve done 3 months of residential eating disorder treatment, 6 months of partial hospitalization (PHP) and intensive outpatient (IOP) eating disorder treatment, 8 weeks of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), weekly (often twice weekly) therapy sessions, weekly dietitian sessions, and I’ll even throw in a round of Botox for migraines, just for funsies!

And while I think all of those things worked together to get me where I am today, the thing that made the biggest difference…the thing that changed my life…the thing that took me from not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, to feeling like myself again…is a magnet.

A magnet?

YES! And the best part is…INSURANCE COVERS IT!!!

TMS uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain to improve symptoms of depression. To put it simply, a magnetic coil is placed against your scalp, and the machine delivers a repetitive pulse that stimulates nerve cells in the region of your brain involved in mood control. It’s thought to reactivate regions of the brain that have “fallen asleep” or show decreased activity due to depression.

This treatment takes place over the course of 8 weeks. It is a commitment, since there are 36 treatments.

I was skeptical. But I was also desperate.

And desperation won.

Even weeks into treatment, my skepticism remained. I had to drive two hours a day, 5 days a week. I didn’t feel any different. My days were full of treatments: TMS in the morning, PHP/IOP in the afternoon. I was exhausted.

And then, just a few weeks from the end of TMS treatments, I started to feel something. It was subtle at first. A spark of hope. A little less heaviness in the mornings.

Before I knew it, I was laughing again. I mean, a real laugh. Not that fake-ass laugh you do when you’re uncomfortable. Before I knew it, I was making to-do lists…and actually doing the things.

Before I knew it, I was sending that email up above… “Just writing to tell you how GOOD I feel!” with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Because a little magnet gave me my life back.

This is not a sponsored post. (Though, heyyyyy Allen Psychiatry, I’ve referred literally everyone I know to y’all. How about we make a deal?! 😜) This is just me yelling from the mountaintops about how my life has changed, to anyone who will listen, because I truly believe in this!

If you’re even the least bit curious about this treatment, you seriously have nothing to lose by checking it out. And if you’re in the Dallas area, I’m going to refer you to my doctor, because they are THE BEST! If you want more info about it, or you want to chat about it, you know I’m more than happy to chat! Leave a comment below!

If you’re struggling with depression, know you are NOT alone. When I was in my deepest, darkest depression, I needed to hear that I wasn’t alone. My favorite poet has a line that says, “The most healing thing we can do is remind ourselves over and over and over, other people feel this too.” I think that’s true. Friend, you don’t have to face this alone. You don’t have to struggle alone.

Please remember, there is always, always hope, and hope’s not going anywhere.